safe motherhood


Father's perspective

So you've been a dad for a few months now and life has changed out of all recognition. You may feel a mixture of pride in your new child and fear at the responsibility you have taken on. There are all sorts of things to sort out in your life:

How to cope with sleepless nights.

You want to help with the baby, but you have to be sufficiently wide-awake in the morning to cope with work. Try negotiating with your partner for her to do the night-time caring during the week in exchange for helping her at the weekends. Consider co-sleeping, or if that only makes matters worse, sleep in a spare bed for a while.

How to balance work and home

You want to see as much of your baby as possible, but you have to put in the hours at work. Is overtime important for the extra money, or would it be better to spend time with your baby?

Your relationship with your friends

Some will understand what you're going through, while others won't. Talk to the ones who can empathise.

Your relationship with your father

"Having Adam made me appreciate my father more and what he coped with. He had six kids and yet he always made time to spend with us!" Terry

How to restart your sex life

You don't want to ask your partner to make love before she is ready, but you do want to be close to her again. Try a little cuddling and stroking and then take it further if she seems happy. Otherwise, wait a bit longer - her body is tired and perhaps still sore. Talk it through with her. She needs time to recover.

Talking to other dads should be useful. You'll almost certainly find that your concerns are common and it helps to know that other people have survived!

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